Update

The last few days have been pretty bad, feeling like a failure, not good enough and beginning to question is recovery possible for me. I broke my twelve day streak two days ago and now i cant stop all that is on my mind seen my blood and feeling the pain because I deserve it. I dont deserve it be happy because every time i try something comes along and crashes me further down the ladder of recovery at the moment i am standing at the bottom of it but cant seem to reach the first step. Since finishing college for the summer I dont have the support from my tutors, guidance or anyone. This ten week summer is going to test how strong I am and at the moment dont feel like i am going to survive